a docu-mercial

 the promise of multi-purpose snake oil

There are many stories in the "Ole West" about the Mr. Hannie types who sold snake oil and medicinal spirits. LOL, you can do the same with olive oil if you are from the Middle East, coconut and kola nut oil probably have their equivalents from Africa and the Caribbean. Nothing in the world though is like cold pressed whale oil and we all have greased pans and palms with butter as Ms Dean will attest, is the best, lard knows.

The only real difference in snake oil is the kind of snake it comes from. It is guaranteed to work no matter what and be of fortuitous benefit even though the sacrifice of a snake to give up his life sustaining oil for your anointing is a small price to pay. What shall this oil exactly do for you beside the customary making you as slick as the guy who sold it to you? Depends.

You see, snake oil is a suspension. Meaning it will hold other ingredients in place until you get the benefit from them. I guess the word they use today is a topical. The really good oil will open your pores so that what ever is suspended will soak in. This explains why medicines are expensive and makeup is cheap. It goes way beyond the physical application of minerals to the human flesh. Snake oil in it's various forms is also used to administer cultural pathologies, kingly and priestly authority and prevent diaper rash, interchangeably and simultaneously. Human history is both taught and learned via this way.

We flaunt our ability to market and apply snake oil to every facet of our lives. We are pickled in our own juices to the point we can't tell what is oil and what was added. We dig up "original recipes", ancient sauce, primordial stew, and alien mash. We add new packaging, snappy commercials, instill need and limit access, availability and quantity. We offer the same oil, tell one group it's diluted for mild application, another group it's so concentrated the smell alone will grease you.

The oil is a distraction, used to slip something past your mind so that the real operation can happen. The main drive is always selling, pushing, dispensing, proselytizing and not the actual using. Have you noticed that to use a thing you have to get away from others. Don't know why we are so compelled to promote snake oil to others as soon as we see others, it's an automatic response. All snake oil users have to isolate themselves to have enough wherewithal to apprehend the delicate nuances of the oil and appreciate its subtle effects. If you get to actually use the snake oil it is reasonable to assume you have been duped and will not offer an opinion on the subject due to the embarrassment of being stupid enough to buy into it. But, like the kid who said the emperor has no clothes, you might be the only one aware enough to say it. And who would tell a bully, "your greasy granny too"? Thus greasy emperors and clergy all over the globe assisted by the Slick Willy Corporation, slide past our notice leaving a trail of rancid lard called history.

Having been trained to let it slide, we can not put two and two together even when forensics can tell you the difference between snake oil and lard. You have to cook pork and milk a snake. A little snake can fill a big container. Some folks have been milking the same little snake for generations. Everywhere you go folks are oiling everything, they're marinaded in the stuff and basting everything with it. Snake oil is the reason for everything, the source of everything, damn near the cause of everything. We will cease to exist in our present condition if snake oil is eliminated. But don't worry, untreated lard is a universal snake oil replacement. While it needs refrigeration to keep it you don't have to saddle up to a live creature to milk it.

This documentary is a comment on the world situation and can be applied with a liberal slathering of snake oil. Any use of this text with the aforementioned lard as the lubricating vehicle will result in unfavorable and unstable reactions for which I am not responsible. You'll just have to let it slide.