Monday, March 01, 2010


"I'm not a nerd, you're the nerd! You with your white shirt and slide rule and thick black spooky looking glasses. And you can't explain things without going into detail. Oh everybody is normal except you, you nerdy dude." They spin on their heels, nose up in the air and in a fluid motion whip out the iPod and the iPhone and become oblivious to the world around them, iTexting and iBopping and iYaking. "Yo, dude, you get my text?.........."  "Actually my shirt is gray and it's a pen in my pocket and my glasses are pewter, PEWTER! and that's profiling and you can't even see yourself!", I yell back in a fuss.

I cross the street to almost get hit by a guy staring intently at his GPS instead of DRIVING HIS CAR. I turn into a building, the elevator, then a room with people sitting in a ring. I am motioned to speak and calm down to deliver, "Hello, My name is Arno and iNerd!

Ah, the techno life is with us all. I'm not here because I have a nerd ailment, but because the ones who don't admit to nerd like behavior are giving me nightmares.
I am awake, I touch things, see things and am deeply interested in stuff and I am always tripping over nerd zombies. Think your not a nerd? Nerds are the result of fact filled education and the regurgitation test regimen. "Hey man I don't speak in strings of facts!" No, you just speak because you must, having content is just something added if you actually had it on your mind. It has become the way you express yourself. If you had a beat behind it, you'd go off and lay down your rap.

What ever we do as nerds, we like to hear ourselves, see ourselves or get into stuff with the caveat, "Don't interrupt me when I am in my world!", "Don't touch me when I am in the zone." You know I like basketball, but when Michael Jordan goes into slow motion...........I walk into Office Max to make a purchase, whip out my credit card to make a killer buy, time slows and the world rotoscopes to a different angle and even the guy in the back of the store grins and nods as I make the slide. I leave the store beaming and when I get home I do the online survey to re-live the experience, all the while the imagined sound of cheering crowds fill my mind. Arno, snap out of it!

I'm glad we don't wear cartoon voice bubbles so that others can see what we think or say. I would be embarrassed, you would hit or kill me. I would close my eyes so I wouldn't hate you. You would say over and over, "Man, shut up!"

Of course most cover their propensity for being nerdy by saying they are savvy. Hey man, what's savvy? What's saaaaavvvvvy?

Don't blame me, I am compelled to tell the condition we all live in, after all iBlog.

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